[ stronger than a boy his age has any right to be. definitely stronger than any of them had been at that age. ]
I don't know about starting from the top but...
[ how to put that night into words when Nanami only knows fragments here and there? ]
We shouldn't have let him go in alone.
[ this was their greatest failure, wasn't it? to give in to the demands and abandon Gojo. he tells Geto about the night in Shibuya, the parts he was there for. how Gojo got sealed - no, he doesn't know how and by whom. the special grades, being saved by a ghost Zen'in, being careless, and then giving in to exhaustion- ]
I didn't notice the curse until it was too late. I did a terrible thing to Itadori.
( He is quiet for a long, long moment, gaze gone faraway and distant, teeth worrying at the too dry skin on his bottom lip. But then he shifts a little, lets gravity slide his shoulder further down the wall, knocking against Nanami's own and staying there, firmly pressed. They're not very touchy-feely, thought Geto might have been when he was younger, but he wants the contact now. )
You couldn't have known.
( It makes him so tired, so furiously exhausted. None of it ever changes, they fight, and they fight, and they fight, and when they can't fight anymore there is no one there to save them. He is sad for Itadori, that bright boy who tries so hard, and he is desperate with grief over the other two. It makes his throat feel thick, fingers twitching around the bottle neck. )
I'm glad you love him. I'm glad you didn't lose that. ( Not unkindly, though it might feel like it. Haibara's loss loosened something vital. Geto tops up his glass as a balm, still leaning against him. ) And I'm sorry I wasn't there.
[ Geto's weight against his shoulder is familiar and foreign at the same time. how did they all grow up into creatures of solitude when they should know better? the worst things always happened to them when they were alone after all. ]
You don't have to make excuses for me. It was my job to know.
[ in a station crowded with curses, Nanami should have known. especially after almost losing to not one but two special grades. the thought of dying has never bothered him much. dying in front of Itadori, however, well, that may be his greatest sin yet.
Geto's words make something in his chest go tight. love? yes, he still does love his moronic senpais in his own way. one of the terrible truths of the world, Nanami has learnt, is that even though their lifespans are finite, love is not. that wound will bleed and bleed internally, leaving bruises nobody will ever see. ]
( A note of sound, a little lifeless hum. He brings the bottle to his mouth to swallow more of the drink, habit more than desire. )
Ah, not far. Okkotsu is a strong fighter, and that curse -. ( Still wistful. ) Satoru would have found me either way, it was time. And I wanted it to be him. Maybe that's cruel of me. Forcing his hand the same way they do. ( It's clear who he means by that, the derision creeping in again. He swallows it down quickly enough. ) But I couldn't help it.
( His free shoulder - the one not pressed against Nanami - lifts and falls in a shrug. )
[ of all the things Geto could have said, this is completely unexpected. perhaps Nanami is too naive, still believing his senpais are The Strongest. in his mind they were immortal. he never expected to learn of either one's demise.
Geto's weight heavy against his side, Nanami exhales softly. ]
That moron. He never said...
[ but he understands why... everyone else had been in Kyoto, fighting the curses and Geto's cult members. by the time they returned... but Nanami never asked, did he? just assumed that Geto had got away somehow like he did the first time.
softly, almost like a confession, because none of it matters anymore: ]
( He lets the knowledge sit for a moment, the bitter acidity of it sour in his stomach. And then he lets it go, swallows against it. What does it matter now? Nothing. Of the three of their generation here, not a sole survivor. At least he thinks Shoko is still alive. Itadori has never spoken of her in any strange way. That will have to be enough. )
Mm. ( A half-amused, half-chiding sound. ) Sentimental.
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( It's meant to be a kindness, it might not be though. )
So start from the top, just to be sure.
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[ stronger than a boy his age has any right to be. definitely stronger than any of them had been at that age. ]
I don't know about starting from the top but...
[ how to put that night into words when Nanami only knows fragments here and there? ]
We shouldn't have let him go in alone.
[ this was their greatest failure, wasn't it? to give in to the demands and abandon Gojo. he tells Geto about the night in Shibuya, the parts he was there for. how Gojo got sealed - no, he doesn't know how and by whom. the special grades, being saved by a ghost Zen'in, being careless, and then giving in to exhaustion- ]
I didn't notice the curse until it was too late. I did a terrible thing to Itadori.
no subject
You couldn't have known.
( It makes him so tired, so furiously exhausted. None of it ever changes, they fight, and they fight, and they fight, and when they can't fight anymore there is no one there to save them. He is sad for Itadori, that bright boy who tries so hard, and he is desperate with grief over the other two. It makes his throat feel thick, fingers twitching around the bottle neck. )
I'm glad you love him. I'm glad you didn't lose that. ( Not unkindly, though it might feel like it. Haibara's loss loosened something vital. Geto tops up his glass as a balm, still leaning against him. ) And I'm sorry I wasn't there.
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You don't have to make excuses for me. It was my job to know.
[ in a station crowded with curses, Nanami should have known. especially after almost losing to not one but two special grades. the thought of dying has never bothered him much. dying in front of Itadori, however, well, that may be his greatest sin yet.
Geto's words make something in his chest go tight. love? yes, he still does love his moronic senpais in his own way. one of the terrible truths of the world, Nanami has learnt, is that even though their lifespans are finite, love is not. that wound will bleed and bleed internally, leaving bruises nobody will ever see. ]
Where did you go? After the demon parade?
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Ah, not far. Okkotsu is a strong fighter, and that curse -. ( Still wistful. ) Satoru would have found me either way, it was time. And I wanted it to be him. Maybe that's cruel of me. Forcing his hand the same way they do. ( It's clear who he means by that, the derision creeping in again. He swallows it down quickly enough. ) But I couldn't help it.
( His free shoulder - the one not pressed against Nanami - lifts and falls in a shrug. )
LILITH likes her dead sorcerers.
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Geto's weight heavy against his side, Nanami exhales softly. ]
That moron. He never said...
[ but he understands why... everyone else had been in Kyoto, fighting the curses and Geto's cult members. by the time they returned... but Nanami never asked, did he? just assumed that Geto had got away somehow like he did the first time.
softly, almost like a confession, because none of it matters anymore: ]
I wish you'd come back.
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Mm. ( A half-amused, half-chiding sound. ) Sentimental.
( But he is too. That's half the problem. )
I think I would have liked to be a teacher.